In the 19th in a series of posts from authors of 2018 books entered for The Story Prize, Chad V. Broughman, author of The Forsaken... (Etchings Press), takes on work-life balance.
My first inclination was to write about the dangers of purple prose, be pithy, throw in a couple of puns and a clever metaphor. But then, my youngest son opened the door to my office as he usually does when I tell him I need some private writing time. He said, “Hey, Dad!” in his soft, child voice and began rubbing his tiny hands together then vigorously brushing them on his pants. See, Hudson is extraordinarily excitable but doesn’t have the vocabulary to express his enthusiasm. So he performs this strange, one-of-a-kind samba, thrashing his limbs about like he’s two-parts duck, one-part piston.
Turns out, he simply wanted to tell me he’d gone potty. Again. Though both of my children interrupt Dad’s “special writing time” on a regular basis, it’s the runt of my brood who does so with flair and urgency. Each message is delivered with great passion as if our lots in life could be altered forevermore. But little does Hudson know that because of his most recent declaration about his triumph on the commode, I changed topics.
It struck me that neither of my children are aware that they complicate my writing process, nor do they understand how profoundly they shape what I write about as well as the manner in which I write it.
You see, I started a family and a writing career much later in life. No regrets. I would have it no other way. Yet, I struggle with the guilt of eking out pen time in our already hectic lives. The balance was tricky enough as my wife and I teach full time (a combined 40 years in the public education system). However, not long ago, I was working on a manuscript for a bucket list contest. I hadn’t made enough progress to submit the piece on time and missed our family beach day. When my beloved tribe returned home, the boys prattled on about sandcastles and seagulls, and I expressed the shame I felt for not being there. My wife’s response was a game changer (and I paraphrase):
“We owe it to our children to go after our dreams. That’s the legacy we want to leave.”
Her words are a primary source of strength as I strive to become a better writer and, more importantly, a father.
Would we be more prolific if we weren’t parents? Perhaps. But our families are our hearts and souls, right? They’re the reason we get up in the morning. Our human ports in turbulent waters. My point is this: As mothers and fathers, we have an obligation to wholly chase our ambitions so that future generations can see endurance and devotion first hand.
Sure, the constant burden of explaining why my door is sometimes closed can get old, but the truth is, I couldn’t persist without the intrusions. Believe it or not, an imperative announcement about my son’s bathroom feats is grounding, reminds me why I’m creating stories in the first place. If I must pause in the midst of an artistic breakthrough to deter an argument over a random Lego piece, a coveted Star Wars figure, or a wad of lint (yes, that was a real altercation), perhaps the authorial path that follows will prove more bounteous.
I say, whenever your kids ask, take that break. Regard it as an opportunity, though. Go ahead, help them build a trail of towels and blankets through the hot lava pooling on your living room floor then, after they’re tucked in tight, draw from their giggles and fervor to enrich your work. Children are not a hindrance to an author’s success but a most beautiful distraction.
Hopefully, my familial tale doesn’t exclude those without wee ones but entreats all pen flickers to shift their mindsets if there are perceived obstacles in the path. You don’t have to be someone’s guardian to gambol in an imagined world of crocheted quilts and molten magma. Simply calling up your childhood flights of fancy could spark new plotlines or unearth unexpected flaws in a protagonist, if you listen hard enough.
I envy Hudson’s visceral expression as he’s not yet confined by perfect word choices and other craft-type things. So I say, all writers, now and then, must stand at their desks and dance a frenetic dance, flap their arms like drunken fruit bats. And if you happen to be a parent, too, why please, by all means, shut your door, just maybe not all the way…
My first inclination was to write about the dangers of purple prose, be pithy, throw in a couple of puns and a clever metaphor. But then, my youngest son opened the door to my office as he usually does when I tell him I need some private writing time. He said, “Hey, Dad!” in his soft, child voice and began rubbing his tiny hands together then vigorously brushing them on his pants. See, Hudson is extraordinarily excitable but doesn’t have the vocabulary to express his enthusiasm. So he performs this strange, one-of-a-kind samba, thrashing his limbs about like he’s two-parts duck, one-part piston.
Turns out, he simply wanted to tell me he’d gone potty. Again. Though both of my children interrupt Dad’s “special writing time” on a regular basis, it’s the runt of my brood who does so with flair and urgency. Each message is delivered with great passion as if our lots in life could be altered forevermore. But little does Hudson know that because of his most recent declaration about his triumph on the commode, I changed topics.
It struck me that neither of my children are aware that they complicate my writing process, nor do they understand how profoundly they shape what I write about as well as the manner in which I write it.
You see, I started a family and a writing career much later in life. No regrets. I would have it no other way. Yet, I struggle with the guilt of eking out pen time in our already hectic lives. The balance was tricky enough as my wife and I teach full time (a combined 40 years in the public education system). However, not long ago, I was working on a manuscript for a bucket list contest. I hadn’t made enough progress to submit the piece on time and missed our family beach day. When my beloved tribe returned home, the boys prattled on about sandcastles and seagulls, and I expressed the shame I felt for not being there. My wife’s response was a game changer (and I paraphrase):
“We owe it to our children to go after our dreams. That’s the legacy we want to leave.”
Her words are a primary source of strength as I strive to become a better writer and, more importantly, a father.
Would we be more prolific if we weren’t parents? Perhaps. But our families are our hearts and souls, right? They’re the reason we get up in the morning. Our human ports in turbulent waters. My point is this: As mothers and fathers, we have an obligation to wholly chase our ambitions so that future generations can see endurance and devotion first hand.
Sure, the constant burden of explaining why my door is sometimes closed can get old, but the truth is, I couldn’t persist without the intrusions. Believe it or not, an imperative announcement about my son’s bathroom feats is grounding, reminds me why I’m creating stories in the first place. If I must pause in the midst of an artistic breakthrough to deter an argument over a random Lego piece, a coveted Star Wars figure, or a wad of lint (yes, that was a real altercation), perhaps the authorial path that follows will prove more bounteous.I say, whenever your kids ask, take that break. Regard it as an opportunity, though. Go ahead, help them build a trail of towels and blankets through the hot lava pooling on your living room floor then, after they’re tucked in tight, draw from their giggles and fervor to enrich your work. Children are not a hindrance to an author’s success but a most beautiful distraction.
Hopefully, my familial tale doesn’t exclude those without wee ones but entreats all pen flickers to shift their mindsets if there are perceived obstacles in the path. You don’t have to be someone’s guardian to gambol in an imagined world of crocheted quilts and molten magma. Simply calling up your childhood flights of fancy could spark new plotlines or unearth unexpected flaws in a protagonist, if you listen hard enough.
I envy Hudson’s visceral expression as he’s not yet confined by perfect word choices and other craft-type things. So I say, all writers, now and then, must stand at their desks and dance a frenetic dance, flap their arms like drunken fruit bats. And if you happen to be a parent, too, why please, by all means, shut your door, just maybe not all the way…
